Treading on Dreams...with author Jeff Gardiner
“Reading is a form of escapism, and in Gardiner’s fiction,
we escape to places we’d never imagine journeying to.”
A.J. Kirby, ‘The New Short Review’
Today, I welcome editor and author, Jeff Gardiner. He has established a firm foothold in the writing world over the last couple of years. Apart from successful publications with Crooked Cat, Eibonvale Press and Tirgearr Publishing, he has just signed a 3-book deal with Accent Press. Many congratulations!
But more about Jeff later. First of all, he talks about Love and Obsession...
Love and Obsession
My contemporary romance, ‘Treading On Dreams’, explores two
themes: obsession and unrequited love. These two experiences are sometimes
linked. Obsession can lead to the humiliation of your romantic desires being
unwanted. Unreturned love can lead to an unhealthy obsession that turns into
something darker: stalking, unreasonable behaviour, or worse…
In ‘Treading On dreams’, Donny is a sensitive, romantic
eighteen year old who’s never had a relationship. He leaves home for university
and shares a house with the very desirable Selena. As an inexperienced and
insecure young man, Donny is not one of those arrogant egotists who assumes
every girl wants to sleep with him – unlike Jaz, their landlord. Donny is shy,
keeping his feelings to himself, which only feeds his dreams and fantasies.
So what is the difference between being in love and being obsessed?
Is there a difference? Donny doesn’t give in, even as he gets to know Selena’s
fiancé, Melvin. Instead, Donny decides to continue developing his friendship
with her, while keeping his romantic and lustful feelings internalised. This,
however, isn’t always a good thing.
Love can be a consuming – and sometimes debilitating –
emotion at the best of times. When things are wrong, or exciting, then it can
be difficult to concentrate on other parts of your life. Allowing one thought,
fear, hope or desire to control you or stop other aspects of your life from
developing is far from ideal. But when we’re enslaved by our romantic desires
then it’s impossible to function normally. We probably all know someone who
gave up on their friends to concentrate on that one ‘special relationship’,
only for that relationship to break down and leave them isolated and lost.
Equally, if you put all your hope in one person, only to be rejected – however
kindly or sensitively – then this affects everything else in your life.
WB Yeats wrote a poem called ‘Never Give All the Heart’,
which ends with the couplet:
He that made this knows all the
cost,
For he gave all his heart and
lost.
Yeats was obsessed with Maude Gonne, an Irish Nationalist
revolutionary and his muse for so many poems. He proposed to her unsuccessfully
four times, and had to watch her marry another man. Only when that marriage
broke down was his love finally consummated. He proposed yet again, only to be
rejected once more. So desperate was Yeats that he even proposed to Maud
Gonne’s 21 year old daughter, but was turned down by her.
Now that is romantic tragedy! You couldn’t make this stuff
up. So perhaps the answer is to not give ‘all the heart’.
Love is horribly complicated with no simple answers.
Sometimes you have to make a judgement and take a risk. Who knows what that
other person is really feeling? Who knows what the future holds? Perhaps all
you can do is follow the old clichés about listening to your heart and seizing
the day. It’s what poets, songwriters and authors have been trying to explore
over the centuries.
If you want to know if Donny has more success with Selena
you’ll have to read ‘Treading On Dreams’. The title of the novel comes of
Yeats’ most famous poem, which is a sentiment aimed directly at Maud Gonne
herself:
He Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven
Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half-light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.
My best advice is
this: make sure you at least have a dream. All you can do is everything in your
power to make that dream come true. If it doesn’t then at least you tried your
best – and you never know – perhaps the person you’re dreaming of is having
similar dreams to you. There’s only one way to find out…
~~~~~
Read an Extract from TREADING ON DREAMS:
‘Women, eh?’ Jaz shook his head.
‘Don’t try to understand them, mate, that’s a mug’s game.’ Jaz told him once
they were ensconced in the snug bar of The Huntsman with two pints of Guinness
each lined up before them. ‘My theory is that women fall into two categories:
lizards and androids.’
‘But that’s the problem…she’s
not either. She’s beautiful, intelligent, fun to be with and sensitive.’
‘Bloody hell, man, you’ve got it
bad, ain’t you? You’ve started moping. Gotta stop that, right now.’
‘How?’
‘You’ve got to stand back and
realise she’s just another human being no better than anyone else.’
‘That’s handy for you, eh? If
they’re all just lizards and androids, then it’s easier for you to discard
anyone after the conquest.’
‘It’s got its benefits. I don’t
get hurt.’
‘But then you never get into a
relationship.’
‘Well…nor do you…but at least I
get some satisfaction.’
‘I suppose I got too hopeful and
wanted it so much. It would only end in agony or ecstasy and knowing my luck…’
‘Hate to say this, but you’ve
got to forget her.’
‘And how am I supposed to do
that then?’
Jaz’s suggestion made him angry.
‘Join the foreign legion?’ Jaz
returned without pause.
Donny smiled at the thought of
marching across sun-baked deserts, alone, perspiring, battle-weary and dying of
thirst. Being close to death might be the answer.
‘I’m gonna leave you to it,’
Donny said, feeling light-headed.
‘Nah, don’t be soft, mate.’ Jaz
held him down in his seat. ‘One more.’
‘No. I have an essay to finish.’ He struggled
from Jaz’s grip and stood up. Ignoring the comments behind him, he reached the
pub door and stepped out into the cold night breeze. The fresh air almost
knocked him over.
Taking a deep breath and
concentrating on not gagging, he meandered home.
As he quietly closed the front
door, he wondered if Hazel was around and heard a rustling coming from the
kitchen. The door stood ajar but instead of walking straight in, he peered
through the gap. A figure moved around inside: Selena. He watched her kneel
down putting laundry from her basket into the washing machine, but what
mesmerised Donny was the fact that she had been careless enough to let her
dressing gown fall apart to reveal her breasts and white frilly knickers.
Intoxicated and helpless, he
forced his eyes to stay in focus and those few seconds seemed like an hour.
Gazing entranced, he noticed a small birthmark just below her left breast—a
beauty spot. That image would be forever in his memory. From now on, he would
be able to close his eyes and imagine her perfection.
Then the moment passed and she
turned away, pushed the clothes into the machine, stood up, still with her back
to him, and tied up her dressing gown, before turning round now with her
modesty covered.
He discovered he was trembling
and she was walking towards where he stood. Like being hit round the head, he
realised he should move from the doorway and he practically leapt backwards,
running back to the front door managing to open it and close it again to seem
like he had only just got home. He heard her give a slight start and their eyes
met as he clapped his hands together to pretend to be shaking from the cold.
‘Hello, Donny. How are you?’ She
folded her arms in front of the breasts he had finally glimpsed and could think
of nothing else other than the image of her naked before him. Eventually, he
managed to control himself.
‘Oh, hi. You okay?’
She nodded. ‘Can we chat
sometime soon? I’ve got to go to bed now, but soon, eh?’
‘Er, yeah.’
He still couldn’t rest his mind
or clear the erotic images rampaging through his whole being. The frustration
of not being able to look for longer or that he might never see such a sight
again; of never knowing the contentment of holding her and fulfilling his
arousal with her in his arms, obsessed him completely.
In
a powerless rage and consumed with agony, he allowed the fantasies and pictures
to slowly overcome him and burst in an ecstasy within him, until eventually his
mind cleared into a blank and shrinking numbness and, without the need of
tablets, he crawled into the lonely darkness of sleep.
~~~~~
Links for ‘Treading On Dreams’ (currently only 99p/99c):
~~~~~
About the author:
Jeff Gardiner is
a UK author of three novels: Treading On
Dreams, a tale of obsession and unrequited love (Tirgearr Publishing); Myopia, which explores bullying and
prejudice; and Igboland, set in
Nigeria during the Biafran War (both published by Crooked Cat Books). His work
of non-fiction, The Law of Chaos: the
Multiverse of Michael Moorcock, has recently been published by Headpress.
He has also recently signed a three book contract with
Accent Press for his ‘Gaia’ YA trilogy, which begins with Pica, a novel of transformation and ancient magic.
His acclaimed collection of short stories, A Glimpse of the Numinous, published by
Eibonvale Press, contains horror, slipstream and humour. Many of his short
stories have appeared in anthologies, magazines and websites.
For more information, please see his website at www.jeffgardiner.com and his blog: http://jeffgardiner.wordpress.com/
“Reading is a form of escapism, and in Gardiner’s fiction,
we escape to places we’d never imagine journeying to.”
A.J. Kirby, ‘The New
Short Review’
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